For those who are struggling with frightful and disempowering religious beliefs that complicate the grief process, this video from my presentation on Jan. 10, 2021 at The Conference for Death and Bereavement Studies will be helpful: https://youtu.be/LPygjhyOElg On a similar topic, please consider reading this article in the Journal of Pastoral Care and Counseling: https://journals.sagepub.com/eprint/GKSJEVZXUMFNI7QCNUZZ/full […]
Shame and Self-Loathing in the Name of God
I recently discovered this excellent article on how Christianity — as it is understood, taught and practiced by most Christians — encourages shame and self-loathing. Many thanks to Neil Carter for his insight and wisdom on this topic. Here’s an excerpt: “In order to need a savior, you have to feel there is something you […]
Bereavement and the Buddhist Bardo
I shared this article by Pema Khandro Rinpoche in the January 2021 issue of our newsletter, The Afterlife Advocate, and want to also post it here, because it’s one of the best pieces on death and grief that I’ve ever seen: Breaking Open in the Bardo
The Ego’s Desire for Deathlessness
The Ego’s Desire for Deathlessness I just watched a movie on Netflix called HOPE FROZEN, about a family in Thailand whose two year-old daughter died of brain cancer, and they have her cryogenically preserved. It makes a powerful statement about science vs. spirituality, family dynamics and complicated grief. I had a very strong emotional (and […]
There Are No “Stages” of Grief
Can We Please Stop Talking About the “Stages of Grief?” In my professional capacity as a pastoral counselor specializing in loss and grief, I hear from bereaved people almost daily about their struggles to find healing and peace after a profound loss. For me, and for my most of my colleagues, it is endlessly frustrating […]
Near-Death Experiences are Culturally-Subjective
Image source: http://encounters-with-jesus.org/category/buddha/ One of our Facebook group members recently wanted to share an article on our page about a woman who had a near-death experience in which she went through pearly gates and met God, who told her to go back to earth to proselytize about Christianity. The admins didn’t approve it as a […]
What Flowers Teach Us About Death
Nasturtiums have been my favorite flower since I planted my first garden in 1975. They are colorful, beautiful, prolific and easy to grow, and they can make any landscape look like a fairy tale kingdom. But they are also fragile, and if the sun hits them too hard for too long, the flowers will wilt, […]
Is it Possible to Prepare for Sudden, Unexpected Heartbreak and Loss?
This article was originally published on ThriveGlobal.com, Feb. 12, 2020 We hear a lot about preparing for disasters like earthquakes, hurricanes and fires. If we live in areas prone to these kinds of events, we are acutely aware of the potential for catastrophe, and most of us have followed the recommended preparedness guidelines. We have […]
Why Celebrity Deaths Feel Like a Personal Loss
This article originally appeared in Business Insider on Feb. 12, 2020 A grief educator explains why the death of a celebrity feels like a personal loss, and what we can learn from it AP Photo/Ringo H.W. Chiu Imagine that you’re in a movie theater watching your favorite actors on the big screen, where they are […]
I’m an End-of-Life Educator
Originally published on Business Insider, Jan. 24, 2020 I’m a Death and Grief Educator. Here’s What I Teach, and Here’s What I’ve Learned It’s not the kind of career you dream about as a kid. It’s not glamorous like an astronaut or a rock star, and it’s not easy to explain when someone asks […]
Bad Bereavement Advice: When Trying to Help Doesn’t Help
As I travel around the country teaching workshops on loss and resilience, I meet hundreds of people — mostly bereaved parents — who have been suffering deeply for years and even decades, and are not moving forward in the healing process. For my doctoral research on complicated grief, I accumulated a lot of data on […]
Being Present with Grief
I’d like to share this short video excerpt from our recent online mini-workshop. It offers a very useful and practical tool being present with grief and monitoring your mourning process: https://youtu.be/hZjlRG7Se5k
A Magical Encounter in Utah
I spent several days in Salt Lake City this month giving presentations and making friends with some extraordinary people. Everywhere you look there are mountains, and it is gorgeous! The only thing I didn’t like about Utah was how difficult it was to buy a bottle of wine. I felt like a criminal going into […]
Grieving in Community
When a community is devastated by a traumatic event, such as a mass shooting or natural disaster, in addition to individuals grieving their personal losses (death of loved ones, loss of a home), there is a communal loss experienced by all who have been touched by the event, directly or indirectly. Grieving in community is an […]
Abraham-Hicks on Grief
This a brilliant explanation of death, loss, grief and inter-dimensional communication:
Mediums and the Grief Journey
In 2014 I had the honor of attending a three-day “community grieving ritual” conducted by an African wisdom teacher named Sobonfu Some’. Sobonfu taught us the importance of grieving in community. She showed us how to use ritual, symbolism, movement and singing to give grief a communal voice that rises up as a call to […]
A MOTHERS DAY AND FATHERS DAY CEREMONY FOR BEREAVED PARENTS
A MOTHERS DAY (AND FATHERS DAY) CEREMONY FOR BEREAVED PARENTS Bereaved mothers often talk about how difficult Mothers Day is, and although honoring mothers is a noble idea, our culture doesn’t offer any truly meaningful ways to honor motherhood, especially for those of us whose children have died. For fathers, it is just as difficult […]
What is Complicated Grief?
The term “complicated grief” is greatly misunderstood by the bereaved, in large part because the word “complicated” has recently become a pop culture buzzword. Many people have said to me, “ALL grief is complicated,” which is evidence of this misunderstanding. Because all grief is NOT complicated. The majority of people move toward restoration and healing in […]
Winter Solstice: ‘Tis the Season to Honor Transition and Rebirth
December 2017 Because this time of year can be difficult for those who are grieving, in this issue you’ll find articles about grief, but also about our capacity for resilience. And because for many people the holiday season is about God and religion, in this issue I’m also including an endorsement for Reza Aslan’s excellent new […]
Coping with Grief and Loss on Holidays
Coping with Grief and Loss on Holidays If you are mourning the death of a loved one, living with your grief during holidays such as Christmas, Valentine’s Day and birthdays can be overwhelming. Everyone around you is celebrating togetherness, but you’re struggling with the fact that your loved one is no longer physically present in your […]
Helping a Friend Who is Grieving
Message to a Grieving Friend For David… “Grief is a spiritual form of open-heart surgery. Nothing rips us open, scars us and heals us more than loss and trauma, and nothing brings us more valuable soul expansion. The unexpected death of a loved one changes us permanently and profoundly, and because we are never truly separated […]
Grief in the Body
Grief in the Body I had planned to dedicate this issue to bereavement, and to offer a discount on readings by our friend Freddie Rivera, a highly-respected psychic medium. But something very strange happened. Freddie suddenly died this month, quite unexpectedly, and surprised us all. He loved the Afterlife Conference and our newsletter, The Afterlife […]